Power for the Weak
For reasons that I would rather not look too deeply into, I have become an intensely private person. Unless it happens organically, no one can expect that I will share anything personal and that is something that I can honestly say that I have not prioritized to work on. This is why it might come as a surprise to all of you that I recently had a baby. Like super recent. Like a few days ago! Maybe one day I will post all of their pictures and do the whole social media proud mother hen thing, but again, that won't be today. Rather, today I want to share with you how the Lord is helping me through what is looking to be one of the most overwhelming seasons of my life so far.
But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness". Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may reside in me. So I take pleasure in the weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and in the difficulties for the sake of Christ, for when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 CSB
I didn't know it at the time, but this is what I was asking of the Lord as I cried in the shower depleted and overwhelmed. And the funny thing is, I was not overwhelmed with any particular task, but rather at my overall circumstance and, if I'm honest, my response to said circumstance. Both screamed, " I am not ready for this". Something that I have been thinking since they rushed me through the hospital explaining that my child's birth would be by emergency c-section 3 weeks early. At the sign of my son's first big brother freak out tantrum. When I lost my temper with the receptionist at the doctor's office. I am not READY FOR THIS! Why not I couldn't say, but I didn't need proof for the feeling to persist.
Oh but thank God for Jesus, because tonight the Holy Spirit reminded me of this scripture. The power of Christ is perfected in my weakest moments. That word power means the power residing in something by virtue of its nature. Why does that matter? Well, this is what I prayed:
"Lord I pray that You would give me strength. Not just in will and determination, but the strength to be patient. The strength to walk in love".
Like I said, I didn't know it at the time, but I prayed for the principal that Paul outlines in this scripture. I knew that I needed access to the nature of Christ (think fruits of the Spirit e.g. love, joy, peace etc.) but my weakness kept me bound to falling short. So my prayer, thanks to the Holy Spirit, was the same as the Lord's promise to Paul. "My grace is sufficient for you; My power is perfected in weakness". The power of the nature of Christ is completed in you when you are weak. And what is Paul's response to such an amazing gift? To boast! To proudly declare that he is weak. Now proudly declare is a bit far off for me, but confidently admit is right in my wheel house. That's what that desperate shower prayer was for me. A confident confession that I was indeed not ready for any of this, and I needed access to His power. Access given to us by the Spirt that He has given to His children that is not of fear, but of power, love and self-control. Power that takes up residence in us and is perfected when we are weak.
So do it sis. Go tell the Lord that you are weak. Declare it just like you declare His goodness. And none of that fake stuff that we do so well. When we say we can't do something, but in reality we have 99 plans in place and three back ups. I'm talking about that broken hidden place that you bury under affirmations and the "I'm fine " mantra that you sell to everyone else when you really want to burst into tears. Do it so that the Holy Spirit can get to work in you like He is putting in work double time with me.
I love you and I will see you when I see you!